The Truth About The Friendzone.

ATTENTION VIRGINS.

THIS MAY COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU

BUT THE FRIENDZONE DOESN'T EXIST. YOU'RE JUST A BITCH.

Sarah put me in the friendzone, girls always do this to me.
— Every Virgin Incapable Of Dealing With Rejection

The friendzone is like the illuminati. Every dickhead on the internet is trying to prove that it exists.

But the more YouTube videos and articles you read, the more you realize that they're all written by the same paranoid, unsuccessful virgin who thinks every personal failure of theirs is the result of a widespread conspiracy against them.

I CAN’T GET LAID BECAUSE I’M ALWAYS TRAPPED IN THE FRIENDZONE
— Conspiracy Theorist (Virgin)
I’M UNSUCCESSFUL IN MY CAREER BECAUSE JEWS RUN THE WORLD BANK
— Conspiracy Theorist (Also Virgin But Only Because He Doesn't Trust BigPharma's Birth Control)

But! This article goes both ways. Ladies, listen up.

The Friendzone doesn't exist, so stop acting like it does.

You cannot turn a man or a woman who approaches you with romantic intent into a 100% purely platonic friend.
If men and women aren't having sex, they can't be friends.

You can hang out together, see movies, go to parties and do everything else you would do in a normal friendship but I'm willing to bet my entire career that if the perfect opportunity for sex ever arose, at least one of you will be showing up with a ballgag and a checklist of tailored fantasies they've been wanting to act out with the other for years.

 Michelle dressed up in a gimp mask and sailed 10,000 nautical miles to Toms house for rigorous platonic friendship sex after he broke up with his girlfriend.

Michelle dressed up in a gimp mask and sailed 10,000 nautical miles to Toms house for rigorous platonic friendship sex after he broke up with his girlfriend.

Don't believe me?

Ask your totally 100% platonic friend who has definitely never once thought of you in a sexual manner if they would like to have one night of sweet, sweet love.
If they decline and say they don't want to ruin a wonderful friendship then congratulations!

You have a gay best friend.

Go to Mardi Gras with them, let's get this marriage shit legalized! #EqualityForAll

 The only place where platonic male/female relationships exist.

The only place where platonic male/female relationships exist.

To conclude,

The friendzone doesn't exist. If she doesn't want to have sex with you after 6 months of catering to her every need, it's time to give up and move on.

Being nice to someone doesn't entitle you to sex. If you really want intercourse to be that much like a transaction, don't harass your classmate.

Visit a brothel.

Share, or don't.

-Lew.