The Truth About Facebook Rappers

Well ladies and gentlemen my last article on URBEX upset enough people for me to realize how many online communities are in desperate need of ridicule.
For too long people have been enjoying their hobbies in peace without hurting anybody.
I'm here to change that.

Today we're looking at Facebook Rappers, perhaps the worst thing to happen to Hip-Hop if you don't count Iggy Azalea.
Take a scroll through Facebook at any hour (though 3am is prime) and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Pothead dudes wearing Snapbacks and fake gold chains recording themselves rhyming "lyrical" with "miracle" on a webcam that has two pixels and terrible sound quality.

 What up fam it's your favourite Facebook rapper and I'm here to stick it to the squares. Ironically though I am 100% comprised of squares so do keep that in mind before downloading my shit mixtape. #420 legalize it.

What up fam it's your favourite Facebook rapper and I'm here to stick it to the squares. Ironically though I am 100% comprised of squares so do keep that in mind before downloading my shit mixtape. #420 legalize it.

How many times am I going to see some white kid from inner city Melbourne tell me that he's "real" inbetween bars about shooting people? I don't mean to interrupt you MC Middle Klass but John Howard made sure you're never going to see a gun in your life.

Maybe try rapping about things that are actually real in your life? Like spending weed money on Facebook ads.

Thanks for the love and support fam. I know my bedroom rap only got 1000 views after I paid Facebook to shove it in your face but I still consider that a win.
— Guy Who Wishes He Could Say Nigger In His Music

I'm all for getting out there and making art and if a webcam is the only way you can do it then go ahead and start with what you have but please for the sake of your dignity and our ears:

SAVE YOUR MONEY AND RECORD THAT SHIT PROPERLY.

Share, or don't.
- Lew