Ah yes, Free The Nipple. The very latest in first world non-issues that need to be debated for reasons unexplained.
Before we begin I would like to formally apologize for being a straight white male that has an opinion on anything other than how best to apologize for being a straight white male.
The #FreeTheNipple campaign has been around for a while now and this might surprise you but I'm in two minds about the whole thing.
Some days I think to myself: Who gives a fuck if Sarah can't post her nipples on Instagram for a few extra likes? There's bigger shit to worry about.
Like learning a skill instead of posting your tits on Instagram for bodyscrub cash.
Other days I look at #FreeTheNipple from a different perspective and realize I still don't give a fuck about it. But in another way.
If women want to flop out the funbags at a beach because it's 45 degrees, so what! Who are we to say no? Just don't complain to the rest of us when you discover the agony of sunburned nipples.
But no matter how many Tumblr posts, topless picnics and terrible naked Miley Cyrus selfies I see on the internet I keep coming back to the same thought.
Our bodies are different.
Is it really insane to acknowledge that?
Share, or don't.